Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, January 27, 2014

Pan-Arabia Enquirer and the art of satire

If recent events are any indication, peddling satire in the UAE can be risky. So it was with more than a little skepticism that I took the news of a commissioned Pan-Arabia Enquirer exhibition at DUCTAC's Gallery of Light. But it turns out that this was, oddly enough, not just a big joke.


Fans of the publication know that PAE offers as much insight into the inscrutable idiosyncrasies of life in the Middle East as it does oft-missed satirical humor. A couple of prints are claimed to be early versions, from back when it was apparently called the Dubai Enquirer. Given PAE's premise, I really don't know how seriously I should be taking the descriptions of these. Suffice to say, though, that things have clearly improved since then, although there are still too many easy giveaways for my liking.


Highlights include select spoof ads (I love the job postings), and those facepalm-triggering letters that occasionally become as legendary as the articles themselves.



Print is not all there is to see; you can glance enviously at the VIP area while you wait in queue. A few manufactured artifacts, the articles relevant to some of which I recognize, are also displayed in glass cases.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Star Wars Cantina Shufflin'

Found this today, and was totally blown away. The synchronization is just unbelievable.



Not as grin-provoking, but still impressive for it's 3D graphics work:


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Extended Pun List

  1. A backward poet writes inverse.
  2. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
  3. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  4. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  5. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
  6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
  7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  8. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
  9. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  10. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  11. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  12. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  13. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
  14. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  15. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  16. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  17. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  18. Every calendar's days are numbered.
  19. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  20. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
  21. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  22. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  23. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
  24. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
  25. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
  26. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
  27. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  28. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  29. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.
  30. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  31. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  32. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
  33. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
  34. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  35. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
  36. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
  37. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
  38. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  39. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
  40. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  41. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
  42. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
  43. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
  44. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
  45. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
  46. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  47. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
  48. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  49. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Puns, puns, puns

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at  least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

UAE Criminals Working Overtime to Finish Nefarious Schemes by Oct 11 Deadline

2010 August 01

Terrorists, assassins, smugglers and extortionists in the United Arab Emirates are at wit's end now that the state telecom authority has announced that it will be blocking untraceable Blackberry services nationwide starting October the 11th.

"I have to work weekends now. When the f*** am I going to watch Twilight: Eclipse?", grumbled Al Qaeda operative Mustafa al-Masri. As he wrestles with the wiring on his third IED of the day, his wizened mentor (who prefers not to be named) paces about their quarters-cum-workshop anxiously. "This is so very bad for business," he sighs, as he checks his BB emails for the eighteenth time in half as many minutes.

Russian mafia hitman Nikolai "Nimrod" Leonov shares the sentiment. "We had a three-day window to get that last big fish," he gripes, referring to a prominent businessman. "Now it's three hours. Besides," he momentarily smirks, "there's that cute lady I met at Marina Mall a few days back, and have been constantly exchanging BB messages with ever since."

D-Company's Santosh Shetty laughs at the irony of his situation. "That courier from the Rajan gang kept taunting me, saying he can 'pwn our n00b operations' now that he got himself some fancy new phone. After months of resistance, I finally caved in and bought one at a Dubai Summer Surprises sale last week," he mopes, twirling his complimentary Modhesh keychain. "Seriously, this sucks! Hmmm," he muses out loud, "you think I can send all my scheduled extortion threats in advance for the rest of the financial year?"

By overseas correspondent Sohan Dsouza for Incredible News Network

Picture credit: http://www.blackberrycool.com/2009/02/12/nuclear-weapons-lab-blackberry-goes-missing-in-axis-of-evil/

-END-

 

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Blag Hag: In the name of science, I offer my boobs

http://www.blaghag.com/2010/04/in-name-of-science-i-offer-my-boobs.html
Witty atheist artist attempts to experimentally verify Iranian religionut's "hypothesis". Not sure the chosen means have my full support, but hey, Mr Sedighi came up with those terms, not she. In other news, the residents of Dover, Kansas are still holding their breath for Pat Robertson's predicted smiting.

EDIT: I stand corrected ... she is actually a genetics grad student.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Special Investigative Report: Parodies Are Actually Funny




Our dedicated staff here at News Inc. together with our intrepid correspondents in the field bring you this special in-depth analysis of the parody. We spit out some factoids to keep you interested, speak to those affected by this phenomenon, ominously hint at how it could be coming to your neighborhood, and delve deep into the evidence to uncover the truth that is hidden in plain sight.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/
This is one of the most "interesting" photo-blogs I have seen of late. The blogger is "annoyed" with what she perceives as the "overuse" of quotation marks, and had decided to "name and shame" (that last one was legit). Some are "groansome". Some are "funny". Some are simply "jaw-dropping". Enjoy "surfing" this one!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Husband Store

Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:

 


You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next
floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

 

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth f loor and the sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.


The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.


The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Street Fighter: Where are they now?

Ten years after the Street Fighter saga began, the warriors regroup for a final fight ... but this time, it may be a mortal combat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLrWgVPeCzI

Hey, is it "hadouken"? I always thought it sounded like "aboogit" or something. Well, you learn something new everyday. There are 9 parts in all. The other 8 episodes can be accessed from the "Related Videos" panels.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is proof that fanbase-driven indies can be far better than cheesy commercialized big-name crap. I'm referring to that ridiculous movie they tried to make on the SF franchise back in the 90s. Ugh.

Speaking of which, CAPCOM has apparently not had enough of an embarassment with the first attempt, and wants to have another go at it. Let's see how they handle this one.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Garb for Geeks. Nyeh-heh-heh!

http://www.thinkgeek.com

If you are a geek to any degree, you will grin ear-to-ear browsing through this site. The designers of these products go beyond mere stereotypes, having creatively come up with stuff that embodies the essences of true geek cultures. Some of my favorites:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/724a/ : The geek love poem. For the non-geeks, #FF0000 and #0000FF are red and blue in hex color code, and All Your Base Are Belong To Us is a well-known geek meme.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/hats-ties/9352/ : Now if only I had an 8-bit suit to go with it.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/5d6a/ : 127.0.0.1 is the IP address that represents the universal home, or local host, address

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/illuminated/8e31/ : Hey, nobody seems to be winning.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/popculture/78c6/ : Scaryyyyyy!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/watches/6a17/ : On the bright side, it's far more robust than your regular LCD watch.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/sciencemath/8953/ : Not quite the popular definition of heavy metal, but technically quite accurate

If you haven't had your fill of geekiness, here's a little bonus: http://www.ducttapefashion.com/